SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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