This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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