We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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