He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
