I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
