the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
