she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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