it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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