I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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