Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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