Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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