I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
