i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
