She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
