Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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