Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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