You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
