Midget sex pt 2 tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
