I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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