He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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