I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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