He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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