i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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