you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
