You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's rum buckets o'clock
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
