nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
