It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
