What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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