someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
