i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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