You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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