NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
