I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
