Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
