Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
