Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
