I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
