Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
