im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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