We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize