We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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