i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
