Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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