I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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