I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
