In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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