she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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