All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
