So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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