You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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