she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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