Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He better not be in your backpack
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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