I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
