And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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