Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
