I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I did not marry a roomba.
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