he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
