just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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