Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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