last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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