There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
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After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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