check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You made out with two different species that night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
